What does your fridge say about you?
Well, we all forget to defrost sometimes, don`t we…
But wait – whatever lurks in your fridge could hold the secret to your future happiness! At least,
if you`re single it could…
For there is a man with an Exciting Plan – to boldly glean insights on your personality from the mere contents of your fridge, thence to match you with fridges compatible!
Hundreds of people have apparently sent pictures to this enterprising person (or should one say, fridge guru?), presumably in the hope of receiving a stack of compatible-contents pictures by return.
And then? What would you be looking for in the heart of a fridge? Lots of style, colour and harmonious groupings, or perhaps a hint of the wise and deeply metaphysical...?
The guru could advise - he spent twenty years assessing his potential dates by fridge (some of them still went out with him). His eventual bride dazzled him not least with her Champagne and "high-end condiments".
I don`t know what a high-end condiment is, but George and I do have a pot of auntie Jean`s home-pickled beetroot, and a very sparkling wine from the champagne region of Aladidl.
Do consider carefully the state of your fridge before you let all and sundry in there. It must be gleamingly clean and fragrant (guru does home visits too, you know), and entirely free of stuff still moving. The message it conveys could change your life!
(Looking in our own fridge, I`m not sure it conveys any message other than We need a bigger one and Where`s that chipolata I was saving?).
Remember! this thrilling new service is for singles only so how is/was your fridge as a single?
Mine always had a bottle of Dry Martini and a bottle of Tia Maria.
(I know. But they tasted different in those days).
And there`d be one of those party bottles of Liebfraumilch...
And a loaf of Mother`s Pride.
But we didn`t have gurus to match us with other Sophisticated-Palate-Well-Organised`s - we just had to go clubbing to meet people, or take up beginners` badminton... Or walk around with a big sign on our head (which never worked either).
Things are different now, but that doesn`t mean they`re any easier...