Friday, January 16, 2015

Hug a Snail

Snails can be beautiful creatures -
but did you know they can make us beautiful too?
 One of my Christmas stocking fillers this year was a face mask or rather, an Intensive Anti-Aging Moisture Maskrejuvenating, purifying, moisturising and made of Organic Snail Gel
Naturally, this conjured up worrying images of the collecting process… how is a snail persuaded to hand over its gel unless at gunpoint? Where does it keep its gel?
Well Obviously (I discovered) it doesn`t need its gel (slime, in fact) once deposited in the process of moving (during which it is indeed jolly handy - particularly on the vertical or the upside-down).  Once Snail has hastened away, its deposit can be scraped up and used with abandon.
Internet delving assures that no snail is harmed in the harvesting of its output and they`re kept in such heavenly free-range conditions, they probably don`t even notice all those bucket-wielders following behind.  As someone who rushes to transfer any wayward snail struggling up the bin-bunker to a juicy green bit of our patch, I do like to believe they`re happy in their work.
Snail slime, used in olden times to treat gastro-intestinal ulcers and coughs (much the same), is now a hugely popular beauty aid, discovered in no small part by Chilean snail farmers noticing how soft and gentle their hands were. (They could probably even Do Dishes with them)…

It`s perhaps best not to dwell on the actual gelly base product - that image will never be glorious but luckily they disguise it... 

I, for instance, would never have guessed the origins of my face pack and though I say it myself, the  results are almost as miraculous as it says on the tin -  I feel smoothed, plumped and revitalised – a completely new woman! 

Mmm… don`t suppose you`ve got any cabbage on you...?