Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Forty Shades of Hoover

Hoovering can be such a joy can`t it…

the massive satisfaction of banishing all those horrid little Bits from your floor, the relief that comes when the job`s skilfully done and dusted.

Sometimes, though, you`re just not in the mood – it`s those same old sarnie crumbs in front of the TV and all that flaming cat detritus – his fur, toenails, litter scattered in frenzied post-wee tidying, the odd hanger-on from his garden patrol…

(That one was a Tardigrade, by the way, and HermanCat was quite attached to it for some time.  Mercifully they`re less than 1mm long).
(the ones in captivity).

Anyway, you start on your usual boring old route – living room, kitchen, haul it up the stairs, bedrooms... and all the time that droooone is driving you mad!

Then to cap it all, your vac explodes.

I suppose after twenty years I should have guessed something was wrong… I mean, suddenly it seemed like it was hardly grazing some areas, and the engine had begun to moan like a bull with a headache.

This vac was telling us it had drudged enough - we needed something New.

Friends suggested seeking expert advice from a man who knows, so we set off for Hoovers-R-Us - we were so glad we did!

All those tantalising choices… upright, cylinder, turbocyclonehandstickmotioncompactsensorsyncairborneforce bagless, cordless, noiseless, pushless...  

After a session of unrestrained experimenting we went for a slim, light pole of a device with several accoutrements to handle every area you could think of – vaccing like we`d never dreamed of!

"And would you like an outfit with that?" said the man brightly, "You don`t want to get your ordinary clothes messed up with household chores!"  

"How could this be a chore!" I giggled over-excitedly as he led us to the display. His selection was huge.

What more can I say other than we are very satisfied with our purchase.

So we couldn`t leave the cat out:

(definitely recommend Muting this hoover)


Expat said... bought a Roomba! What fun. A friend has one. I could have watched it for hours. But it's so teensy. Where does all the dust and stuff (on my floors there's always 'stuff" like the stray frozen pea or paper clip) go? Is it instantly vaporized?

On another note, just discovered that dear Ceri Radford is due to have her first baby any time. I passed on good wishes from the Constance Harding stalwarts.

JW10 said...

Did you pick an outfit? I' m guessing it would be the Wonder Woman costume.

This is the 21st century men hoover as well. My vaacum attire would be a long dark wig and a 70s glam rock clothing style just like Alvin Stardust. I can coo-ca-choo while playing with the hoover.

Dolores Doolittle said...

Hi Expat! I`d love a Roomba just for the name and as you say, its mesmerising quality. And to bring joy to the cat of course. Suspect it`s low on practicality though - it would surely be thwarted by stairs as Daleks of were of yore.

Thrilled to h!ear of Ceri`s imminent baby! - thanks for passing on wishes. Must check her on twitter or somewhere.

Dolores Doolittle said...

Hi JW! YES! Wonder Woman is indeed one of my special outfits...

Please send clip of your Alvining glamourously - one is all a-quiver.

(George likes to vacuum Free of all encumberments). (OK - that was just a thought of mine...)

Dolores Doolittle said...

(who`s been putting excess !!! and of`s in my Expat comment? Just stop it of!

Patsy said...

I don't like vacuuming - it spoils the interesting crunchy texture of my floors.

Dolores Doolittle said...

You`re RIGHT Patsy! Surely it is our duty to preserve whatEver pieces of authentic English Heritage we can...