Monday, June 10, 2013

Laundrettiquette


"After you…"
"Oh no, YOU have the table – I‘ll fold at home!"
"Well if you’re sure… Oh! is that your vest on the floor?"

Yes, that’s just how it is at Merryville Laundrette – why not Come On Down for an unforgettable day out with new friends and the chance to win big, BIG prizes! (Maybe not the Prizes). Nevertheless, it’s THE place to be with your Festerings. 

No longer the clutch of darkly muttering elbows you might remember from youthhood, battling to the death over washer and dryer - the Laundrette of today is a gathering of gay banter and sordid gossip, of crosswords, books and magazines and learning; a place where all ages and assets can
commune. 

(So far, this young man from the ancient jeans advert hasn’t graced our laundrette with his boxers, but the other guy's a regular…)

And Pchaw to 24-hour supermarkets – this is the place to meet your new truelove – I mean, where better to gauge the cut of someone's jib than in the flourish of their fripperies?   

George and I have rediscovered the Shared Laundering Experience since moving to a house with room for neither dryer nor clothes-horse nor garden line. (I cannot describe our jubilation when we managed to squeeze the Washer in).

But what would be the Etiquette these days?

Should one simply bag a dryer, sit sighing extravagantly before it, then empty and charge off to do Vital Business? Or determinedly strike up conversation with the person gazing comatose at a notice about dangerous overloading…  whinge companionably perhaps about the swine who’s gone gallivanting off and left stuff in a machine, rendering it unuseable?

(In the old days it would have been emptied and fought over by everyone waiting -  now that’s probably against health and safety).  

Well I needn't have worried!  The Laundrette of today is very like the Lavoir of yesteryear - our next-door neighbour in France had one the bottom of her garden and up to the very Sixties,



everyone in the vicinity would commune to donk their laundry in the stream and bash it against the stones.  And a jolly hat was had by all.

Of course the handy and very popular rocky beach here provides a similar facility – just as well, because from easter onwards it's harder to find a Laundrette Machine not full of hotel sheets than it is a Parking Space in the eye of a camel.  (It is Written...)
 

So is Party-Laundering for you?  Would you like to rid yourself of calcium-buildup floods in your kitchen, or the machine that bursts into flames on an overnight Cotton Extraspin?

Perhaps forget clothes-washing completely, private or public:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2316679/The-shirt-wear-100-DAYS-washing-ironing.html

Could you be tempted by this "...shirt you can wear for 100 days without washing or ironing!"?  (Yes we know about backpacking, but this one's fragrant at the end).  You might be slightly bored with it by then...
On the left, we see a man vigourously testing its sweatiness.


Or does the answer lie in those disposable paper dresses of yore?  Just wear and chuck when the wear and tear got too pronounced - they were like crunching around in crepe wrapping and they were FAB!
(That's very like me on the left).  Mine beloved own was an orange culotte dress.  Mercifully I can't recall how many wears it had before I could bring myself to chuck. 


19 comments:

Canary Islander said...

Good morning Dolores! Is the Daily Mail article for real? I'm a bit worried by the idea of wearing a shirt so many times without washing it! And as for launderettes, I always found them to be a perfect substitute for watching TV (and I still do). And yes, there was always the faint possibility of a romance...
:-)

JW10 said...

Hot passion in the launderette! Hell's bell's it sounds like a scene from the Roman empire. Too steamie for me I'll stick to wringing my clothes dry over the sink.

I like the idea of paper disposable garments, Dolores. It would make the wardrobes redundant leaving more space in the room for the pet giraffe.

Dolores Doolittle said...

Hi CI! Surely the Word Of The Daily Mail is always for real...

This article was only unleashed in April, so it's a Dazzlingly new invention! If only they'd invent a chameleonly option to change pattern every day. Or to play the odd film across the back... Could that compete with laundrette viewing, CI?

Dolores Doolittle said...

Indeed, JW, 'Gladiator II - Amor Vincit Mangleretum' is currently filming twixt the hotpoints.

More legroom for the giraffe! How very thoughtful you are.

Canary Islander said...

Arrgh!
You mean the DM article was an April Fools Day spoof.... ?
:-)

Dolores Doolittle said...

One would think so CI, wouldn't one, but I should have detailed that it was published unspoofily
on 29TH April.

Actually, maybe That was a Trick - Fiendish Daily Mail!


Expat said...

No room in the garden even for a whirligig thingy, Dolores? We used to have one of those in the good old days of early homeownership.

Here, we are not allowed to hang out the wash. It's verboten by the residents association. But we are so accutomed to industrial size washers and driers tucked away in the corner (it's the American Way!) that I've forgotten the knack of nifty pegging.

When I was a small girl, my Mum did the wash by hand on a scrubbing board, and there was a big copper boiler for the sheets and towels and stuff. We had a mangle in the backyard. Nothing like the smell of air-dried sheets!

There was a time (before the marvellous twin tub) where as a newlywed I used the launderette. Fortuitously, it was right across the street from the pub.

I never had a paper dress, but I did try paper knickers once (if that's not too much information.

Canary Islander said...

I remember a Chinese launderette that opened briefly by Highgate tube station with the unkikely name of "Squeeky-cleeny-shiney-whitey-lots-of-scrubby-yummy-yummy-chinese-washy".
:-)

Dolores Doolittle said...

Public hanging-out is forbidden, Expat?! Sadly, it is indeed impossible for us - anything flapping in the front strip would severely splat unwary passers-by, and we don't have a back garden - some inconsiderate house is glued on there. (We're an avant-garde Front-to-Back semi).

How I Love the idea of an industrial size washer-dryer! But we'd have to throw out the kitchen...

Dolores Doolittle said...

Am moving to Highgate Tube Station Immediately, CI!(or soony-woony, anyway)- this merry Song of the Shotblasting is irresistible!
(You loonyspoony)

Canary Islander said...

Hmmm... We hang our wet stuff up over the bath or up in the loft. In extremis, one could have an outside flagpole to dry larger items, and what do you think about the idea of hanging small items from the car aerial?
:-)

JW10 said...

Good idea, CI. You'd be be able to hear the thongs better. (ouch!)

Dolores Doolittle said...

Smalls gaily streaming from the aerial, CI - your Mercedes has never looked better!


And ThingalongaThongs, JW! - let's do the show right here!

Canary Islander said...

Alas, no Mercedes for me - just a humble Hyundai Matrix... ... and they don't even make them anymore.
:-(

But then, that's true of me too...
:-)

Dolores Doolittle said...

Well if they did CI, we'd all have a drawer-full! (of you, that is... I'll have to Google the Humble Matrix)

Expat said...

Leaving a post on here because I can no longer access JW's blog...

Dolores Doolittle said...

How`re you doing Expat? I put a comment on JW`s yesterday. Hope he`s in fine fettle, and you and CI...

Expat said...

Everything has changed. There's this comment moderation thing, and no option on his blog for me to enter my name, as there is on yours. I don't have a google account so I'm screwed.

I am well. Wondering why you didn't answere my e-mail but if you've lost your hotmail that would explain it. Do you have a new e-mail address you can send me?

Dolores Doolittle said...

Will do Expat - pretty sure I have your address on another account (forgot password & was banished from orig). Shall rootle around tomorrow and mail you. Take care