Sunday, February 20, 2011

Barry Bucknell Rides Again


‘So where does this one go?’ brandishes George.

‘According to the writing on the back,’ I suggest, (ignoring disparaging comments on people's writing), ‘It goes bnd d drs tds g.’

Clearly, it's destined for... Behind my set of drawers nearest garden end wall. Unfortunately, George has banged another skirting board back in that position - no wonder it was a tight squeeze…

Barry Bucknell would be proud, though. Not only have we painted the bedroom, but also removed skirting boards, and are now tackling their post-new-carpet replacement. George has even managed to hide wires behind these skirtings! Not bad, considering the height of our DIY before moving to France was plug-changing and car-washing.

Here, of necessity, George has: put in light fittings (the only thing left on change of ownership in France is an occasional bulb on a grotty wire), fixed curtain rails, installed new sinks, laid tiled floors… his accomplishments are manifold and staggering. (Well - I paint...). And I’m proud.

Surely the first DIY puzzlings of people our age were stimulated in infancy, when the beaming Barry Bucknell would explain how to Make Things and Then Stick Nails In Them.

http://www.whirligig-tv.co.uk/tv/adults/bucknell/bucknell.htm

(Please Do click on the picture in this link for cacophonous 10-second video of him saying Goodbye)!

For George and I, DIY is still puzzling, and something we enjoy when it’s finished.

Our painting project this time, however, was unusually fun-filled owing to imminent exchange of festering old carpet for new one. What Joy Unbounded to splosh paint around with complete disregard for the floor! (One’s joy was a bit too unbounded near the shelving, but a quick blast of nail varnish remover did the trick).

The Man came last Tuesday to fit the replacement carpet (professional job seemed sensible here), and asked with a smirk if we’d like to keep the old one. No thank you. Lord knows what lurked therein – it was in place when we arrived nine years ago and aeons before, judging from the multi-hued indelible splodges. If he could have picked it up between finger and thumb, I’m sure he would have.

Of course, paramount in DIY is the restoring to original order once the Doing is done. Hence, since Tuesday, we’ve been engaged in the reinstatement of bed, drawers, boxes, linen, clothes, shoes and tons of other bedroom bits...

Slight discord here – I’m happy to restore to the original Open-Door-and-Chuck-in kind of order for now. Whereas George can excel at organising, and this time he has indeed excelled. Shoes have been secreted into neat slide-out boxes, towels have been folded(!) onto shelves with unfrayed parts to the fore, Things hung on hangers – Verily, this is a New bedroom!

What Delight! What a Sense of Satisfaction! And WHAT can we now Stick Nails In…?

22 comments:

Jon in France said...

Wonderful stuff DD! But nails are Old Hat. Barry might spin in his grave, I fear, but "ni vis, ni clou" is very much the Order of the Day. I use the stuff by the gallon....

Dolores Doolittle said...

Hello Jon! Well that's sterling advice! "NoScrewsOrNails" - Is it Really Sticky gunk that you could glue yourself to the ceiling with? And if you do, is there any antidote?

Expat said...

John is really good at DIY. He laid all our hardwood floors (screwed and glued, Jon). First lot he did by hand, then got smart bought a compressor and nail gun. He now has every tool imaginable to accomplish virtually anything. Trouble is, he never actualy COMPLETES anything. there's always a bit of beading left to do (15 years now) or a bit of tile that didn't get grouted ( also 15 years). Or the door that was hung but not painted.

Ah well, I love him anywyay.

Dolores Doolittle said...

A compressor and a nail gun, Expat - he sounds wonderful! How is he at slashing down rampant leylandii? (legacy of previous owners)

Expat said...

Funny you should ask.I went into the garage just this morning and found new, secretly-purchased tools lurking...a bow-saw and a machete!!!

Canary Islander said...

What a happy and busy blog! I can hear all the banging from here! Err... why are your drawers near the garden end wall?
:-)

Dolores Doolittle said...

A machete, Expat?! Bought Secretly? Blimey, what fearful plans does he have in mind?
(I assume your garden is as wayward as ours...)

Dolores Doolittle said...

The better to fling them out onto the trees, CI (where Constance's parrot will perform tricks)!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/a-surrey-state-of-affairs/8331449/Constance-Harding-blog-post-2.html#comment-151257392

Canary Islander said...

Being neat and tidy like George is good. I'm like that too.

I was pondering this whilst putting some paper under my pet cuckoo clock, when suddenly I got worried about life in the Doolittle household après-folding.

How does anyone know which folded towels on the shelves are frayed (and which aren't)?
:-)

Dolores Doolittle said...

Hi CI - How does one know which towels are frayed? Jolly Good Point! Luckily, they All are!

(Hope pet cuckoo clock's aim was true...)

Canary Islander said...

Yes Dolores. I'm thinking of buying a yacht, and doing the nautical thing. My cuckoo clock would look absolutely splendid, swinging gently in the breeze on poop deck...
:-)

JW10 said...

Hi DD,

Painting and wallpapering is my sum skills of DIY. A thing I always do once I've stripped the walls bare before decorating is write messages. Still in love I scrawl JW L HW. This is not a ploy to get round my better half and dodge working, honest! It seems a shame to paper over it.

Nail guns! Machetes! This blog should carry a warning.
:-)

Dolores Doolittle said...

Hee Hee, Yo Ho Ho, CI (you looney)!!


JW, how wonderful to leave sub-paper messages! Have you ever uncovered someone else's? Have you ever found a ghostly image, or even a message In the Course Of Being Written as you gaze horrified upon it?

(I'm somewhat influenced by ITV's haunted 'Marchlands', and various short stories...)

Canary Islander said...

JW! Snap!
A very good friend of mine held a wall-paper-stripping party just before my final Physics exams. After stripping my wall, I covered the bare plaster with the theory of Diffraction Gratings. Perfect revision - because the topic featured in my exam paper a few days later!

I wonder what reaction my manic scribbled formulae might have aroused when rediscovered in later years...

Dolores Doolittle said...

A Deeply Concerned one, I imagine, CI. Did you pass the Physics, though?

Canary Islander said...

Yes! (blush). And now I want to take a Masters degree in assembling flat-packs from IKEA...
:-)

JW10 said...

I've not came across any physics formulae in my stripping, though, once upon a time in a house my parents had moved into there were images scribbled on the walls of the hall cupboard.
These were juvenile jottings of the female form. The simplistic drawings could only have came from neanderthal times. In vain, I tried to persuade my mum not to cover this priceless piece of history. I was about twelve at the time so you can understand my thin king.

Dolores Doolittle said...

Well GOOD LUCK with that one, CI !

How fascinating, JW - I'm sure you gained great insight into Neanderthal thinkings!

Canary Islander said...

Neanderthals had thin kings? Nonsense - and I speak with authority!
:-)

Dolores Doolittle said...

CI, surely not! I'd suggest, m'Lord, your authority is anything but Neanderthal. (Bonkers in parts, perhaps...!)

farming-frenchstyle said...

Yes, when OH decides to hang pictures it's a scientific operation. The drill and spirit level are still on the coffee table since a picture hanging session 3 weeks ago!

Dolores Doolittle said...

Hello f-f! So - is the picture perfect? I suspect it's a male thing that tools must be left on display until everyone has adequately appreciated the task undertaken...