Tuesday, October 27, 2015

The Cut and Thrust of the Garden

"What`s that blasted noise Angela? I`m trying to read the paper!"

"I think someone`s mowing again, Denis."

"And one of those petrol-driven jobbies, I`ll wager – completely thoughtless, some people!"

Sound familiar? If You suffer from Noisy Gardeners, you`re not alone. Earlier this month residents of a north London suburb found themselves driven to the End of their Tethers by this – the constant, pitiless Tumult of their neighbours` gardening...

 Sadly, as with so much anti-social behaviour, it seems to be a growing problem. Particularly at weekends, when everyone else is trying so hard to Relax.

Reduced to desperate measures, these residents have been forced to Form a Committee. Because it`s not only lawnmowers, but also hedge-trimmers, chain saws... and those appalling leaf-blowers - surely the worst! 

(Actually, what do they do, apart from blow all your leaves next door)?

These machines are often gigantic and ridiculously Noisy not to say Dangerous in the wrong hands! 

Why can`t everyone, is the cry, go back to using those lovely old-fashioned manual gardening tools - So much more satisfying; so much more Considerate.

The longer this menace goes on, of course, the more likely is the possibility of retaliation.  There has already been talk of Red and Yellow Cards for serial culprits - what if that`s Just Not Enough? 

There Will be Squabbles...

YET are we not all guilty in our own way?  Is it possible my own whistling-a-happy-tune out there could irritate...?!  My muttering, swearing, snarling, startling yelps when pottering `twixt our shrubs - might someone hear all that?

So let`s all make an effort; let`s keep jolly quiet in our gardens...

And then we can begin to think about Noisy Neighbours Indoors...  Did I mention George has bought me a bongo drum? 


JW10 said...

Good evening Dolores,

Firstly, I toyed with the notion of telling you I was abducted by aliens but then the more I thought of it, it does sound plausible that I would be selected for an alien zoo. So no, I haven't been kidnapped. Horror of horrors, it has been something worse. My broadband was on the blink for two weeks!

No google, no Bing, No DD. It's been hell on earth. I've so much to catch up with.

What a noisy blog, Dolores. I can hear those bongos from here. Still, it is catchy. And catching. You've got my feet tapping. I'm in the groove. Bop, Bop, Bop a Bop, Bop-Bop.

Dolores Doolittle said...

Thank Heavens you`re safe, JW! I was jolly worried there, toying with what the evil alternative to alien kidnap could be... And it was indeed Worse, but you have boldly come through - hurraaaaay!

Yes, I`m practising very hard on my drum and I might modestly say I`m Getting Better. (did you know a Bongo-without-Drum is some kind of antelope beast)? I of course didn`t, but George enlightened me when I`d posted thus.

Thinking of avoiding red and yellow cards, I`m wondering about thwacking my bongodrum with a soft duster thing I found in the cupboard - It`s got soft frondy and Considerate fingers. (if only it worked on George`s accordion)

JW10 said...

Keep the beats-a-coming, Dolores. Loving your bongo sounds.

I must add I am impressed with the photos that fit the storyline(in this and previous stories. very funny. Lots of chuckles.) and your use of colour fonts. Red and yellow, in this blog, for example. You are definitely blog-tech-wise.

Leave the bongos alone for a minute and take a bow.

Dolores Doolittle said...

How kind, JW! D`you remember giving me advice on how to put pics & vids up when I was but a lad and struggling a smidge? Do You Know, I still have those indispensable handy hints glued to my forehead?
(Don`t forget - if there`s Anything I can help You with...). (look, there Must be Something).

Bongo lessons!

JW10 said...

Bongo lessons it is, then. (Good bongos in the King Louie, I wanna be like you vid)

Thanks for crediting me with your tech expertise, Dolores. I have limited knowledge of the workings of computers. I don't even have a mobile phone! Therefore, the recent Talk Talk "hack" is nothing to do with me. It, err, wasn't you, Dolores? Say it ain't so.

Dolores Doolittle said...

Ah Hah JW, I DO have a mobile phone. But I don`t know how to use it - the switching on, the finding numbers... Don`t even mention the Texting!

I was a trendy (& hugely gifted) computer programmer in the 80`s when PC`s were not very P but the size of kitchens, and could probably be Hacked with the aid of a large mallet. It just wouldn`t be any fun now...

JW10 said...

Hi Dolores, (Expert Retro Programmer)

Talking of old PCs. Back in the 80s at school our class got its first computer lesson on a large monitor. The screen was clear white with an old style flashing square box, top left. We are going back to basics here.

The teacher showed us how to write a Heads or Tails program. It was something like-
10: H= Heads
20: T= Tails
30: Random

That was all probably wrong but it was fun at the time. I bet you can remember the right code. ERP that you are.

Dolores Doolittle said...

Wow, JW, you super-Whizz - I never got anywhere near as far as the Heads or Tails...

And yet, you plumped for Literature and Show Business and How Well it`s all turned out!