I don’t watch Celebrity save-me-I'm-so-crazy! programmes, but I know what goes on! And I just might be in a position to augment their supplies. (They do stun the grubs before they eat them, don’t they…)?
I was replanting pansies and unearthed this Thing, the disgusting like of which I’d never seen before – would it bite? Would it get much bigger? What did it want?
When I described it to a friend she said it was probably a moth larva.
A MOTH larva? - It’s the size of a Beagle! I mean - what the hell's this... moth... going to eat when it grows up – the actual wardrobe?
My googling shows that there are a zillion types of Moth Larvae, and the ones in our pots (for further prodding has unearthed a veritable colony) are the ugliest in the universe. Why couldn’t they be the jauntily green ones, or red, the face-painted perhaps... the acrobatic? Or my Favourite - the Dalek Moth larva:
... which will one day emerge as this beauteous Promethea Moth:
The major problem is what to do with our repugnant plantpot larvae – they’re really big for a start... Collected, they're like a bouncy castle, so squashing's definitely out. As is eating... unless the cats are interested.
There's relocating, of course, but any chucking over neighbour's fence would have to be at dead of night and they have a hunting dog on constant alert. Could we humanely stab them with a needle? Probably not...
Actual witchety grubs, you know, eat the sap and roots of acacia plants. I was sad to learn that the adult witcheties don't feed at all - they have to exist on the reserves eaten by the caterpillar! That's bound to put you in a bad mood. It would have been fairer if they grew up carnivorous and could take revenge on everyone who'd wanted to eat them in their infancy.
This, though, is the fearsome Witchety Moth Beast - if it can't eat you, it can certainly give you a bloody good nibble. So if you've mistreated a witchety grub, Beware! Their grown-up cousins are six feet tall, and They Know Where You Live!