Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Bun Disposal

‘Tis the season for George to make his Hot Cross Buns and as usual, he’s made several batches in pursuit of Perfection.

He remembered that last Easter, the buns turned out just a little heavy and somewhat bland... their Crosses detachable, and able to exclude draughts from under the front door.

He’s always ready to learn, though, from his mistakes (or the Faulty Equipment he’s obviously plagued with). So this year he managed to produce Really Leaden, vaguely chilli-flavoured buns, with Crosses that could make a nasty dent in the wall if chucked with gusto.

Was he downhearted? Sadly, No - he consulted several million cookery sites and asked for tips from Everyone including a professional chef we met, and the village baker. Who was slightly baffled but kindly suggested he may have put too much flour in.

He has kept trying, and we have kept eating them. (In fact, they’re not too bad if drenched in brandy and flambéd, or used as the Very Base of a Trifle)…

But there IS a limit to how many we, our friends, acquaintances and passers-by can eat, and now our waistbands and our freezer overfloweth.

When I spied two forgotten buns lurking at the bottom of the tupperware this morning, I decided in a Flash of Inspiration to break them up for the Bluetits. After all, there's butter and sugar and stuff of such ilk, and the birds would at least enjoy the Currants...

Well, me and the Bluetits had to give up, but there's a Woodpecker still trying to tunnel into one...


Expat said...

Oh dear. Poor George. And good for you for being unfailingly supportive of his efforts!

I miss hot cross buns. They are unknown here. I remember, as a child, getting to the baker's back door very early in the morning and queueing up to buy a dozen really fresh ones straight from the ovens and digging in on the way home.

I have never tried to make them, though. Aren't they yeast buns? Perhaps George's yeast was past its best.

You could always make crumbs of them. There's a million uses for crumbs...and it would be easier on the birds' beaks too.

Dolores Doolittle said...

Hi Expat

Could we but succeed in Reducing them to Crumbs!
I'm thinking of taking the saw-on-a-stick to them...

Jon in France said...

Dry stone walling? It would be a talking point amongst the neighbours you know.

Expat said...

What a good idea, Jon! Now I'm thinking...decorative wall panels...edging for the flower beds...itty bitty stepping stones. the possibilities are endless.

Canary Islander said...

Great fun! Some people say that learning to help in the kitchen, and cook and bake, are microcosms of the whole of life. True enough - there was a misspent time in my youth while working holiday jobs in restaurants when I thought I'd be forever trapped by the kitchen sink, but I came into my own when I put my first bun in the oven. :-)

Dolores Doolittle said...

What Fantabulous ideas, Jon and Expat - our garden will be Revolutionised, and I wonder if we could somehow recreate the baking aroma. - Everlastingly, like the chocolate-impersonating calculator George gave me that's still headily exuding cocoa...

As for your deeply philosophical yet Sordid microcosms, CI... well I just don't know what to say. Slightly depressing to confess I only ever learnt PotNoodles before I was 28.

Canary Islander said...

Here's a Sordid quickie. I have a photo, but (hangs head in shame) I don't know how to include it in a comment.


4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract and your favourite tipple
1 large coffee mug

Add dry ingredients to your largest mug and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using), vanilla extract and a drop or two of your favourite tipple, then mix again.

Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts (high). (Or 4 minutes at 750 watts.)

The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!

:-) Enjoy!

Dolores Doolittle said...

Sounds wondrous, CI!

Pity about the photo - does it look like Woody Allen's pud in my prev post?

Shall be trying it later, when I've been out for Chocolate Chips (how can they be Optional)?

JW10 said...

Hello Dolores,

I have a solution to your aBUNdance of Hot Cross buns. Buy a pet elephant to Hoover said buns up.

Poor George will now have to build a kennel for the elephant; that man's work is never done.

Canary Islander said...

OMG!, people will say, Look at the buns on that elephant!

Dolores Doolittle said...

That's a Great idea, JW - delightful creatures, elephants. Will they dispose of the grass, too, while trampling molehills? All our problems solved!

CI... trust you to lower the tone!

Canary Islander said...

Dolores! You are not supposed to mention the elephant in the room!

Dolores Doolittle said...

You're Right CI! We'll just hang our coats on him. And give him a tickle. With his Bun.

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