Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Radical Thoughts

(from the teachings of Wikipedia):
The oil of wintergreen is used topically (diluted) or aromatherapeutically for muscle and joint discomfort, arthritis, cellulite, obesity, edema, poor circulation, headache, heart disease, hypertension, rheumatism, cramps, inflammation, eczema, hair care, psoriasis, gout, ulcer (dermatology), broken or bruised bones…

… and haven’t we all suffered from at least seven of these foul afflictions?

Traditionally, now is the time of year when they seem particularly irritating; the weather’s bleak, your best Christmas present is broken and your bottom has become a Pavement Hazard.

Well Au Contraire! (As we say in Bognor). I love post-Christmas. The cold is invigorating yet a great excuse for not gardening; my beloved Betty Boop watch did indeed stop working, but was revived by a new battery; and I have revelled in a guilt-free Christmas sugar mountain.

I once heard that the start of February and NOT January is the best time to revolutionise oneself with diet or things of that ilk - Pchaw to Resolutions of the Brand New Year!

With this in mind, I’ve spent the last ten days shovelling away Christmas dregs in order to consume Everything by the February deadline. Even those ghastly lumps of fruit-tinted jelly that George has weirdly grown to quite like.

From today, 3rd Feb, Things will be Different! (It had to be postponed from the 1st owing to dastardly vat of duck paté with figs that had to be finished). But now, No More sugar, far less alcohol, and mini-trampolining every day to deep-rhythm music from Christmas DVD of ‘TrueBlood’ theme (have you seen this fabulous vampires-in-the-community series?). (I chose a gentle link here, but there are still a few Teeth):
((I can't get this damn video clip to play, but the music's great if you can go to the bother of copy & pasting into the http slot))

What else? Radically get my hair cut for the first time in four months, learn to give proper English lessons and speak proper French, blog at least once a fortnight, write a famous novel, paint the kitchen, chop down twenty feet of our ghastly leylandii, become a radio continuity announcer because it sounds such fun, invent a self-emptying cat tray, travel the world and save people, and… and be generally sort of Revolutionised.

So exciting! Why didn’t I do this last February? Or the Feb before...

Where to begin? Well, the cat tray would be useful but the hair’s more pressing so I'll ring them tomorrow. The leylandii are Huge – I expect George would like to do those. People to save... in times of snow & powercut I usually try to save our elderly neighbours, but they always send me away snortingly. I'm not sure why - But I mustn't let it put me off.

Maybe the best First Thing would be to find that tin of Ivory Cream Steam-defying Washable we bought last summer and - Oh Sod It! Where's that bottle of Wintergreen...


Canary Islander said...

Hi Dolores:
Urgent message from Expat follows (I hope!)....

Dolores!!! I cannot post comments on your new blog. You no longer have the name/URL (or whatever) function.

Guys, if you can get on D's blog, please pass this message on.

February 3, 2010 11:17 PM

Canary Islander said...

Hi Dolores! My comment above worked! I think because I was signed in as CI. But your enter-comments page looks different from normal to me. I'm trying to reproduce it below.

"You can use some HTML tags, such as (etc)

Choose an identity
Canary Islander (Google Account) – Sign Out

Email follow-up comments to

OpenID (this is followed by symbols for OpenID LiveJournal WordPress TypePad AOL)"

Hope the above helps!

Dolores Doolittle said...

Thanks so much, CI, and to Expat for trying to get on...

Yes, I'd changed settings because I was fed up with advertising Anons. Didn't realise the Full Effect - have changed it back.

love & kisses, DD

Jon said...

Excellent. I agree that February is a far better month than January to do such mad things and I lock forward to reading more about it. That said, I am wondering if April may be the month the ne plus ultra for the diet gig because there is so much to do in the garden.

JW10 said...

Great to see you back, Dolores.
Lovely humorous blog.

I wonder what your seven ailments are in the sick list you wrote but I’m sure your trampoline exercise will cure them all. Just be careful you don’t bounce off and bruise some bones.

Good luck with your February resolutions, a novel initiative indeed. This means you squeezed an extra month of jollity out of the New Year celebrations. More fool us.
You can be a sharp cookie when you want to be, Dolores.

Talking of which, have you put a padlock on the cookie jar?

Dolores Doolittle said...

Thankee Jon. Having now looked up 'ne plus ultra' and found 'perfect, couldn't be better', I think you have a point.

Particularly as the garden doesn't become a steaming triffid jungle till May.

Luckily, my capable & enthusiastic Aus brother is visiting then - we can't help wondering how he is with leylandii...

Dolores Doolittle said...

Thank you JW. I think I'll start with Gout & Psoriasis from the Wiki list.

I remember going to a Bad Taste party once where someone came as Psoriasis - it wasn't pleasant. I was a garden gnome, which was itchy. And the beard wouldn't let go at the end...

(Did the Comment Screen seem strangely altered to you, too)?

JW10 said...

Hi Dolores,

The screen seemed to be just the same to me. C.I must have found a Ghost in the Machine but he seems to have spooked it off. He's another Ghostbuster.

What a wicked party! Next time send me an invite. I'll dress up as a mushroom. (I find mushroom's to be distasteful)

Canary Islander said...

Ghosts? (gulp). Nobody told me there were ghosts! But I'm glad we're all safe!

Unlike you, Dolores, I only make one New Year resolution. But like you, I think about it after 1st January.

So my New Year resolution applies for the future new year, and not the current year. And since the future New Year is so far away, I resolve to make my future New Year resolution with the benefit of hindsight. Of course, hindsight involves my previous New Year resolution, which is why I keep it the same as before.

It’s a sort of time-warp thing. But it keeps me happy. Unlike ghosts.

Dolores Doolittle said...

A Mushroom, JW? Well I'm not keen either on eating them, but I think we could have accessorised each other well at the party

Dolores Doolittle said...

Good heavens, CI, that's confusing. So you warpedly and happily keep away from resolutions, because Who needs 'em... I think.

Happy Expat said...

Oh Happy Day!I can log on. Dolores, thank you for putting up with Anons so I can be here.

I never make New Year's resolutions. I figure if I am not strong enough to accomplish the life-style improvement during the preceding year, vowing to do better just because a calendar page has turned is a lost cause.

What I really want to know is what is Ivory Cream Steam Defying washable? Can you eat it and is it fattening?

If so, I want some.

Expat Eskimo said...

Waiting for the snow to start. Forecast is now 16 to 24 inches falling Friday through Saturday...maybe more.

Thank God for no New Years Resolutions... we are stocked with (in order of priority)whisky, wine, dog food, bad-for-you-but-comforting people food, wild bird seed...and toilet paper.

Bring it on...we're ready!

Canary Islander said...

Hello Happy Expat Eskimo!

Ivory Cream Steam Defying Washable is toothpaste.

Or more probably, it's paint, or ain't.

My vote is for no, not, it isn't ain't.

Dolores, is it ain't or not?

Dolores Doolittle said...

Oh Expat, what a Joy to see you here!

How's the snow? How are the supplies? I can't imagine anything short of Planet Explosion slowing down your projects, Expat - how is your writing of best-sellers going, by the way?

Ivory Cream Steam-Defying Washable... Yes, CI - it's toothpaste. Or it should be...

OR it's that new Roll-On Foundation thing by l'Oreal that you apply Just Like Real paint! I don't generally indulge in foundation, but I might be tempted by the hilarity of this prospect...

Otherwise, Ivory Cream etc is paint for those hot and humid areas Of Your Abode.

Keep Very Warm and Whiskied, Expat

Dolores Doolittle said...


I have failed to display vids anywhere, in spite of your kind instructions, JW. This Would Be a handy clip of how to paint-roller your face...

Canary Islander said...

Hello Again Happy Expat Eskimo!

Maryland just featured on the TV weather news here, and it sent shivers down my spine! You really are snowed under!!!!

Expat said...

About 16 inches on the ground here so far (5:30 am) and it's supposed to snow all day. The igloo is warm and toasty and we are well-stocked.

I will keep you all posted here.

Dolores Doolittle said...

5.30am, Expat? Hell's Teeth - I hauled myself out of bed at 8.30for a student, and that was excruciating enough.

Couraaaaaage, as they say here, and take great care. I bet it Looks beauteous...

Expat Digging Out said...

I'm an early bird Dolores.

I eyeballed first thing, so it was closer to 13 inches after measuring. But now we have 18 to 20inches on the ground right here. Some areas around us have had more. Hope it's over soon.

Looks lovely but it is dangerous.We've had some blowing snow and drifting. And it will get ugly and dirty soon enough.

Lotsof Dutch couraaaage going down the hatch, though!

Canary Islander said...

I'm still following the news - it's a huge snowstorm! Please keep us posted!

Dolores Doolittle said...

Yes, Expat - please do - I suppose it's a good sign your electricity is still flowing, or buzzing or whatever it does.

Just been speaking to my Japanese brother, who's under similar overwhelming white. (although he's managed to make it to a bar where they can all huddle together comfortingly)

Good luck, Expat, and Warm Thoughts to you!

Expat said...

Our power lines are underground so we didn't lose power, thank heavens, though #1 son and wife out in the country did for a few hours. The snow has now stopped and the hard part begins. Digging out. The snow ploughs came around yesterday and channeled the street. The downside is, of course, that the snow they moved to do so is now piled high along the edges of the roadway and since the temps are well below freezing it will stay around for a while. We can get out (bless 4W-drive jeeps)but others with smaller cars will have a job of it.

#2 son will be over today to help dig us out.

Dolores, everything closed down yesterday, even the bars. For the first time that I can remember, the mailman didn't make it through.I talked to my Aussie brother yesterday and almost hung up when he talked about the balmy 30C day they were having!

Thank you both for your warm thoughts. I wish I could post photos here...especially of my huge dog up to his nether regions in the white stuff.

Dolores Doolittle said...

I think you've painted us pretty vivid images, Expat!

Keep Going, you Stalwarts!

Multilingual Expat said...

#2 strapping son was here bright and early and we (mostly he) dug a path to one jeep, cleaned it off, and made sure the end of the driveway was clear so I can get out. It's a beautiful day, bright sunshine (but still quite cold)so the packed snow after ploughing is melting somewhat. It will be business as usual tomorrow.

I didn't mention before that I am the (scaredy cat)driver for a while since John had lengthy vascular surgery two weeks ago on one of two incisions taking beaucoup time to heal and mobility limited. Getting better very slowly but surely. (Just in case you were wondering why snow clearing was down to me and son while John lounged around)

No need to mention this again...merde happens as you get older.

Wow! Two French words in one comment. I am tres (can't do the accent) pround. OK, that's three French words. Sacre bleu! That's five now(or cinq or six if you count cinq)

Oh, never mind, time for un boite (??) du vin...or deux.

Guten abend!(just for a change of pace)

Canary Islander said...

Dolores - Japanese brother?

Expat - Glad you are OK!

JW10 said...


I was reading about the blizzard in Washington. Happy to hear you are well and in good spirits.

Bad weather forecast for us in the next week but nothing like what you're suffering.
Cyber thoughts and best wishes to you.

Expat said...

JW...more acurately, we are outside of good spirits!!

But just heard of the possibility of 6 to 12 more inches Tuesday night. We're on the band edge so might get lucky.

Global Warming...bah humbug!

Dolores Doolittle said...

Good Heavens, Expat - how brave to even Contemplate a sortie in the Jeep. Though I think it'll cope slightly better than our Ford Ka might...

Jolly impressive French! (I think "seau" of wine was the word you were seeking). (Bucket)

Take care - health and hot water bottles to you and to John

Dolores Doolittle said...

Hello CI - one brother in Japan & one in Aus (was it Something somebody said)?
Your family is much scattered, is it not?

And how about yours, JW?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Expat said... you note on CIs blog about JWs comments. I can't see them either when I open the page, but refreshing the page takes care of it and they magically appear.

JW10 said...

Hi Dolores

My family love Glasgow that much none of us wants to leave. However on my wife's side there is an exotic relation who lives in Blackburn. Blackburn, England!

Reading books and this magical thing called the internet are what stimulates my imagination. It is also a joy to chat with you wonderful people.

Dolores, I will now spend the next five hours on Google Earth.
Up, up and away.

JW10 said...


I type that slow you've beat me to the buzzer.

You're right about the comments on my blog. They don't show under the post but appear when you click the title. I don't know what happened, I did everything like I usually do.
It's either ghosts or detector vans scrambling my connection.:-)

You must be sick of the sight of snowmen by now. Once more hope you're OK.
Speak to y'all soon.

Expat said...

Dolores, bucket o' vino suits me to a T.

Updates...went out and about today, replenishing the essentials before the next onslaught. Love that jeep! Beautiful blues skies a counterpoint to the now dirty piles of snow by the roadside.The weather wizards are today calling for 7 to 14 more inches from tomorrow afternoon through Wednesday. Piece of cake. are in for an icy blast too, I see. Keep warm and keep us posted.

CI...under the circumstances you are not allowed to comment on the lovely weather in Tenerife.

Canary Islander said...

Hello Expat!!! It’s tough here too, you know. We have lots of people, temporarily homeless, with hardly a stitch of clothing or a hot drink to call their own. Many have been laid low and can be seen prostrate, only partially shielded from the elements by umbrellas. But the umbrellas are very colourful...

Dolores Doolittle said...

You have Connections with Blackburn, JW? Just Promise us, you'll Be Careful!!

"Piece of Cake", Expat? Well, don't get the Jeep dirty.

CW, I'm sure you're doing your Humanitarian best to Keep the Brollies Well-Angled - Good Man!

Expat Dirty Driver said...

Dolores, there are jeep owners who keep their vehicles nice and shiny to go to the mall and tool around on a sunny day and look good and then there are REAL Jeep owners...we're the ones with the BIG engine and the tow hitch for hauling cars out of ditches, pulling down dead trees, and generally helping out in bad weather. A little -or a lot- of dirt is a badge of honour.

I will bring the Grand Cherokee to JW's island. It will be useful for hauling the dead sheep back from the killling grounds.

Canary Islander said...

Hi Expat!
Nunna daul Tsuny is from the Cherokee language. But it isn't mentioned in the owners manual. Hey, Ho, that's the world we live in today.

Expat said...

I dread to think what that might mean!

It's snowing again....

Dolores Doolittle said...

Yes, Expat, super-capable is what shineth forth from your writings! Wish I could borrow just a small chunk of your positiveness to mend our roof, and maybe build a new fence...

Oh! It's snowing here again too... HEEEEEELP !!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.