Saturday, February 21, 2009

The Chainsaw of Zorro

“Hah!” shouted Hervé, swishing the air with his chainsaw, “I am Zorro!”

Indeed, he did cut a dashing dash as he bounded lightly up the trunk and positioned himself for action. George and I could but gaze in awe.

And what was he doing there? Well, our ancient and enormous cherry tree succumbed to a tempest twelve months ago, resting ever since upon the old stone wall and the log shed. Having neither machinery nor experience in felling, George and I have tried not to think about it. (Besides, I thought it looked quite attractive at that angle)…

Then one day, our hero Hervé offered to do something about it! He turned up last week brandishing an impressive electric chain saw, plus the huge petrol-powered version belonging to his brother-in-law! Plus… appropriate gloves, boots, goggles, different thicknesses of rope, an astonishing agility and an intricate knowledge of knots. (No, not Scouts - the Forces).

He secured and sliced through branches in logical order of safety, until forced to stop due to oil and petrol exhaustion. Valiantly, he came back the next day with reinforcements – his brother-in-law and an even huger petrol-powered Thing. And metal wedges and a mallet to split logs of enormitude.

The axe we proffered seemed to cause them much hilarity, being of a rather delicate construction and very blunt. SO? It works on logs for the fire…

Anyway, These two stalwart specimens have left us with a fascinating array of beautiful logs, a vat-full of sawdust for comfy cat-litter, and the inspiration to redesign the garden and to clear whatever lurks within the shed… now the roof won’t collapse on top of us.

It’s only the cats who are slightly aggrieved; since the downfall of the cherry, the gap from shed-roof to wall, and from shed-roof to ground, demands far more calculation. Is sunbathing worth all that effort?

14 comments:

Canary said...

It’s an old saw, pussies never pause after losing their cherry.

Dolores Doolittle said...

You tinker, Canary! (Though I'm slightly baffled by the "old saw" ref)

Dolores Doolittle said...

"Sore Point"!

I had to whizz out immediately, and as I leapt athletically into the car the answer came!

(That is the answer to Old Saw, isn't it)?

Expat said...

Isn't a saw an adage?

'course, I am at the point in my life where I am deducting age rather than adding it.

Canary said...

Hello Dolores.

Sore point? No!

My Pocket Oxford has one of the definitions for a "saw" as an "Old saying, maxim".

I just adore a play on words, and I often make things so complicated that it gets me into all sorts of trouble!

PS. I used "pause" because it sounds like "paws" - but I guess you know that!

PPS. If you leapt athletically into your car, then it sounds as if your poor leg is healing nicely - and that is really happy news!

PPPS. Hello Expat!

Dolores Doolittle said...

Oh Sod It!

Hello Expat and Canary - how come I'm the only one who doesn't know about "saw"?

Because you have palpitating brains and I...
(Yes, Canary, I did at least grasp pausepaws - don't make it worse, please)!

Great to see you both and yes thank you, Canary, my Hideously Broken Leg is much improved. (I can still do an impressive agonised groan if I need sympathy, though).

Canary said...

Dolores: Your blogs are fabulous. And so are you...

Expat said...

WE HAVE BEEN EVICTED!! Or, we have been rumbled...

Constance's society surry address is no more. Oh, sad day...but now we have Dolores Days instead. Oh Happy Day!

D.. I missed the pausepaws, so good for you. BTW, I am a cryptic crossowrd freak so I have learned a lot of odd words over the years.

CI is a frisky fellow, is he not?

You still split logs with an axe? George must be a manly man. Heaven smiled on us when our next door neighbor offered us his hydraulic log splitter for a song (back in the day before we switched to propane gas, as previously discussed on Jon's blog)

Cherry is really good burning wood, by the way.

Canary said...

Hello Both,

That's odd. I'm puzzled because I've just made a successful visit to Constance. I was there last night as well, left a comment, and all was well. But I did have trouble yesterday trying to post a comment here in Doloresdays, which I put down to the happy coincidence that Expat was also posting a comment here at exactly the same time!

I liked the "adage" comment, Expat! Hmmmm - "frisky fellow, is he not?".

I like it here!

Dolores Doolittle said...

Hello Expat & Canary, and thank you hugely!

Yes Expat, I've just checked Constance & we're still ok - I suppose they might find it rather irritating before long.

Your cryptic crosswording explains smooth use of 'adage' - I can't imagine it tripping off my tongue with such gay abandon...
Yes, George does split logs in Manly Manner with axe. (It's what attracted me in the first place).

Canary, Thanks for persevering yesterday!

Expat said...

I assumed we had been rumbled because if I look for Jottings from a Surrey Suburb under Society Blogs (my usual way to access), it is no longer listed there. If I do a search it is no longer listed. However, if I go to My Telegraph, look for CI, and review his comments, I can get there from here.

For the future, why don't we just chat here, if Dolores doesn't mind?

Dolores Doolittle said...

Crikey Expat, what a cunning route to Constance - where you ever related to Sherlock Holmes?

Of course I wouldn't mind -'twould be a delight And An Honour!

(How d'you get here, by the way - can you copy the link into a shortcut)? (Says she, pushily)

Canary said...

When I want to revisit something on the internet I tend to use the list of pages in my browser's History. It's always a surprise to see how far and wide I travelled on the internet the day before, and is often a useful reminder that I visited a particular page where I may have left one of my exceedingly wise and learned comments. I just click on the page in History and see if someone else has responded with appropriate awe and due deference!

But in your case, Dolores, I've bookmarked Doloresdays. So you are only ever a couple of clicks away!

Thank you for allowing us to pop in here for a chinwag! When I was a schoolkid my teachers tried (and failed) to encourage me to nurture a penpal, but I couldn't be torn away from the playing fields...

And here I am now. Looks like the teachers were playing a long game.

Dolores Doolittle said...

Canary, well how lovely to be bookmarked - thank you!

In awe & due deference, I remain, Dolores