Or is your cat just bonkers?
Recently we were out gallivanting all day and half the night – (I know - call us WILD!!) – so feeding times were in disarray.
Arriving home we found Mulder-Cat glaring at us from the top step, the protest giblets of a vole arranged at his feet. Scully, trapped inside with only KittyCrunch to nibble, burst to freedom as we let ourselves wearily in. We found that she had enthusiastically emptied her bladder with only her head inside the covered cat tray: ‘Looks nice in there – think I’ll have a pee…’.
But why? She’d never done it before – did she have something on her mind; had she drunk too much KittyMilk and not quite made the little jump required? Was it retaliation for being shut in or – most terrifying – was she… Confused?
After all, the cats are fifteen now – brother and sister twins. Wikipedia says that’s 76 in cat years. And that a cat’s expected lifespan is twelve to fifteen years… have they been reading it too?
In fact Mulder has always been confused. Not incontinently - he just forgets everything he’s ever learnt…
His morning patrol begins with an ecstatic Surge out of the back door then a screech to a halt as a leaf settles close by… A tentative sniff and poke of every plant pot, step, and car wheel - if he’s not careful, any one of them could take a bloody big swipe at him!
Both cats have always been rationally scared of things like traffic… Or the vacuum cleaner - I mean who wouldn’t be concerned about a voracious roaring tube that could have had my flaming ear off, that could!
Next door’s new puppy was also understandably scary - it got into our garden and bounded joyously after Scully to say Hello. D’you know, she’d never managed to climb the maple tree before… And it was a Hell of a long time before we could make her let go.
But recently, they’re scared of anything, including us – getting them to come across the threshhold for FOOD is like trying to entice them across a lake of piranhas. Have they forgotten who’s been feeding them for fifteen years? What do they think we’re putting in it – fur-balls?
We started to wonder if there was an evil spirit in the (very spacious & comfy!) room we shut them in at night so they don’t wake us up. We’d usher them in and they’d shoot up onto a table, or perch death-defyingly on the mantelpiece. (Did anyone ever see that film of olden times where they force a maid back into the attic with the fearsome phantom? Our cats had that same stricken look).
So, they chose to stay out, and during the whole summer we only caught fleeting glimpses of them as they snatched a quick bite from under the outside table. Didn’t they Love us any more…? (‘Course not – they’re cats).
A couple of weeks ago, though, the night-time temperature dropped to zero. We noticed them hanging around on the steps as darkness deepened, doing the cat equivalent of nonchalant ball-kicking – 'well… if you really want us to come in I suppose…'
And once I’d achieved that first Grab round the throat and Haul into living room, they remembered all their old habits! One on my knee, one on the floor by the radiator, the brush-before-bedtime, the consoling tin of tuna after worming…
It’s been wonderful – real cuddly pets again - perhaps we would take them when we moved after all!
And then they go and Spoil it All by crotting in the conservatory plant trough. I'd just RePlanted that plant trough!
Actually, anyone have shed-space for a couple of daring vole-hunters...?
58 comments:
Oh! How upsetting, Dolores. They are quite er, mature, but not necessarily simultaneously gaga, even though they are litter mates.
Perhaps they have picked up on the moving vibrations and are feeling a little insecure.
Could it really be so, Bilby? Could they have heard us talking about the horrid endless car journey and the miniscule garden when we get there... Oh lord - I feel so guilt-wracked
If you have been Acting Differently, Dolores, then they may be disturbed. Animals are hugely sensitive (even cats, I suppose!).
Much better that they are neurotic rather than gaga though, don't you think? I mean, one only has to administer huge amounts of TLC and stick to an unvaried routine, in the midst of moving from one country to another. Child's play!
Seriously, Dolores, I wouldn't have a clue, but do your best and don't worry too much or feel guilty! :)
It sounds to me as if your cats are deliberately punishing you, Dolores. Well, you did pop off to the IOW for a few days, presumably leaving them to be fed by the neighbors. Then gallavanting out all day and half the night! What can you expect from felines?
And, yes, they have probably picked up on the tension you're exhibiting (unbeknowst to you) about the impending move. They're sensitive creatures, but they also get pissed off very fast and are slow to forgive.
That's why I have a labrador. He forgives anything for an ear rub and a dog treat.
Labs are wonderful, Expat, but I have a feeling we are exposing our prejudices here. :)
Well yes, Bibly, you are probably right. I am not a cat woman, although I have been owned by one or two in the past. I hasten to add, they were foisted on me, but I did my duty by them, even the one that brought baby rabbits home as trophies.
Dogs are my great love. My lab is a beauty...110 pounds, not fat but very tall, lovely big blocky head, and has never drooled in 8 years. He's a lover not a fighter and certainly no retrtiever. He doesn't even like giving up a a stick or a tennis ball.
But, I digress. This is not making Dolores feel any better...
Oh dear! All this trouble, when a spot of cat training is all that is needed.
(Mine had me trained in just a few days...)
:-)
Bilby and Expat - Thank you Hugely for your concern and advice - I'd never thought of them, Bilby, as being Sensitive! Expat, yes we did leave them to the whim of our neighbours (the de Villes).
And how could I have joked with brother this morning over their despatch on grounds of life quality - I'm experienced with wounded insects & a hideously gored goldfish the cats once left - how would Mulder & Scully react to being sprinkled with water, laid gently inside a carrier bag, and Hit with enormous brick...
Of Course I wouldn't - I'm a wimp & I still cry for that goldfish.
Canary, you speak with hilarity. and great wisdom!
Please send Labrador!
The de Villes? Was that puppy of theirs white with black spots?
Yes Expat - seems they're Mad for Any soft and beautiful black & white. They certainly kept them well-fed and gleaming...
Cruella de Ville?
:-)
you called,CI? And the resemblance is chilling...
I am in the process of buttoning my lip, Dolores, which isn't painful yet as I can't see well enough to thread the needle.
Before I complete the exercise, I have a request: Please Pack Hedgehogs!(as we are short here). I will pay excess luggage.
Oh buttoneth Not, Bilby! Well, I guess you deserve a repose if you must...
Hedgehogs on List - mortified to hear they're in short supply - and we've learned that the IOW is Full of Red Squirrels! (Feel a smidge sorry for the Greys - must investigate the circumstances).
OK, Possum. Have abandoned needle due to wimpish tendencies. Just want to know if you intend to bring cats over here or are thinking that it could be stressful for aged mogs and are considering alternatives.
Oh lovely, red squirrels! I saw some in Yorkshire on a hiking holiday, many years ago.
Thank you, in anticipation, for the hedgehogs. :)
You really don't have to answer, Dolores!! :) I'm just being a total, but concerned, sticky-beak! :)
Oh...I love hedgehogs. I have a little collection of resin ones (well, two) and one made out of a pine cone. We don't have the real thing over here (Bilby, I'm from Cheltenham but have lived for many a long year in the USA). We have the rather unattractive Big Brother version called Porcupines, though thankfully not in Maryland. I'm sorry to hear they are not as abundant as they used to be in the UK. When I was a child, we had one that lived under our hedge for a while.
Grey squirrels, Dolores? Bah! We are inundated. They eat my tomatoes and tulips and chew through outside cables. I have to baffle my bird feeders, too. And here they carry rabies.
Biby, what is a sticky-beak?
Well, Bilby-concerned-creature-lover and NOT sticking your nose in!, I don't think the alternatives would be any more appealing to Mulder & Scully - we've spoiled them into habits hard to break. We think they'll find adventures even with a titchy garden. (if not, we'll give 'em to the Rag&Bone Man).
Expat, do porcupines come & ravage dustbins like foxes? Are they dangerous or just annoying? Although, one wouldn't want to be bitten by a rabid version... The poor cats had to be anti-rabified before taking them back to UK.
How do you Baffle your bird-feeders - barbed wire, superglue...?
IOW people also seemed thrilled that grey squirrels don't exist there, but not sure how they were persuaded to leave...
Hark! I see JW has a new post!
Good morning all.
When reading your first paragraph, Dolores, I thought it was an advertisement for "shrinks for cats". There's make-up for dogs so why not?
Sincerely hope your cats like IOW and the travelling is not too stressful.
On the pets front I've always wanted a pet Road Runner.
Thankee JW. When it started this post was from the ancient & confusing Anadin advert for tense nervous headaches. WOULD that there were shrinks for cats in this vicinity... in fact, what a gratifying profession that could be - shall start advertising on IOW. (Road-reunners welcome)
(or rUnners)
Me too, Expat. We had Echidnas in Oz which are quite cute and interesting critters, being monotremes. I gather porcupines have to be treated with respect! I haven’t seen a live hedgehog since I arrived back in England nine years ago, only a sad squished one. I’ve never visited the USA. Do you live in a rural area?
A ‘sticky beak’ is an Antipodean ‘nosey parker’, but it must be known here as my sister doesn’t look blankly at me when I say it.
The alternative I had in mind doesn’t have an ounce of appeal, Dolores! As they are felines of a Certain Age, perhaps they will settle happily in a small garden. I do hope so. Do they actually have Rag and Bone men on your Island, or are you just joshing?
Bilby, you're not going to send them up chimnies are you?
Sadly I think Rag&Bone men departed with Steptoe. I tried to run away with one in Manchester when I was four, but he wouldn't have me on his cart. I've never got over it...
Hee hee!
Don't confuse me, Dolores! I just had a momentary image of a scene from "The Water Babies".
I probably shouldn't have said, "The alternative I had in mind" when I rather feared (Heaven Forfend) it may have been "the alternative you had in mind", which may or may not have involved chimnies.
Are you now similarly confused? :)
How sad. I once fell in love with a gypsy's horse and it moved on, so I can relate to your story.
Bilby, like Dolores I have a brother who lives down under (Mandurah, WA) and, and I was lucky enough to visit once a good number of years ago.
We live in Southern Maryland, about 20 miles from Washington DC, but we can be in the countryside in five minutes driving time.
Expat, I was based in Perth for six months, but spent most of the time at Monkey Mia; thoroughly enjoyed my time there.
It's great you are so close to the countryside. I'd find it hard to live far away from it.
Alas, I know not where I've not been, but I think I've been nearly everywhere else, except Bognor.
I suppose Bognor is nice, really.
:-)
Monkey Mia! I know that my neice has been there. Bilby, what did you do there? Were you working? Oh, I feel guilty at monopolizing the blog but I am fascinated. I went to Rotness Island while I was in WA. That was a wonderful experience. Quokkas? Is that how it's spelled?
CI, Bognor is lovely, so I believe, but not as lovely as you.
Bilby of Course I'm confused, particularly as I've never seen 'Water Babies'.
Expat you're not remotely "monopolizing"! Am fascinated by weirdo places you & Bilby have frequented - Monkey Mia, Rotness Island and Quokkas (sounds unmissable, however it's spelt).
CI-much-travelled, Bognor is filled with fond memories of weekend wind- breaks & first bikini (completely pointless garment for the ten-yr-old I was, but they were new & exciting)!
Ah, The Water Babies. I read that over and over when I was a girl.
I wasn't clear, Dolores. A Quokka is a small furry critter that only exists now on Rottness Island. You would love them. And Monkey Mia has porpoises (or dolphins, not sure which), not monkeys. I wonder how it got that name.
Just having a break from work, Expat, and enjoying myself!. I camped at Monkey Mia and spent most of the time in the water playing seaweed games with the dolphins (Bottle nose variety). Now and then someone would haul me out of the water and throw some food down my throat. A magical time!
I wish I'd got round to visiting Rottnest and seen the Quokkas, but couldn't drag myself away from Monkey.
Some think it was named after a ship 'The Monkey' and the Aboriginal name for home, being 'mia'.
Sorry, Dolores. Shall we clear our minds of Water Babies and chimnies and pretend it never happened? :)
Oh Joy! Expat and Bilby, I've just Wiki'd Quokkas - discovered they're small, sturdy kangaroos and yes - Adorable!
Stocky, sweet little chaps. I wish I'd met some.
Hoh Heetley Hoh, Bilby!!
(I've got one in the cupboard...)
They don't do well in cupboards, Dolores. Please send it over. I have a 'State of the Art' sandpit with artful scatterings of Spinifex and a newly dug, palatial burrow. Just the ticket for the small, plump chap!
Oh it's GRASS, Bilby! Was trying to imagine what could be 'artfully scattered' and of course, it makes sense for a sandpit! And the one in my cupboard used to play rugby, so always at home burrowing into the turf
You're not keeping George in the cupboard are you, Dolores?! I repeat, send him over. :)
George prefers the BatCave, Bilby. But spotted your last comment during a sortie and Set Off Immediately (as one out of hell!).
How nice! Just off to gather fresh Spinifex and a few choice grubs ...
Yeah - that should clinch it, Bilby!
Good afternoon ladies (and CI)
Enjoying reading about all these strange animals with delightfully exotic names. Alas, in my neck of the woods, apart from the inhabitants, we don't have small, hairy adorable animals.
We do have insects and none more loved than the common Midge. R.Burns Esq. wrote "To a Mouse", I wrote a poem called "Midges and Middens".
Mary fae Saint Mungo
Had rubbish for the tip
When she neared the bin
The midges made her skip
Ye can swat them aw’ ye like
They’ll come back for mair
Midges and middens
They make a perfect pair
Drat! When I'm online I forget I'm not in the pub. In Scottish vernacular a midden is a dustbin. Hope this explains the above woeful ode.
"woeful" JW? But Nae! It's stupendous - deeply moving and with jaunty rhythm to boot.
Glad you cleared the Midden up though...
Fine lines, JW!
On Islay and Jura, many a midge has come between me and a venison butty.
Gruesome thought, Bilby!
By the way, for those who used to fondly read Ceri Radford's Telegraph blogs, our paths crossed on Twitter recently - found she posts in Culture, Lifestyle, & writes TV reviews. Always entertaining, hence new link above.
I use Nivea face cream for my fine lines, Bilby. :-)
Checked out your new link, Dolores. You're right. Very entertaining reviews.
Am I right in saying this is your old friend, Constance Harding?
Yes indeed, JW! who turned that blog into a book "A Surrey State of Affairs". There are blog posts intermingled on that link.
(She's almost as dynamically prolific as you, JW)!
JW
You will graduate to Pollyfilla eventually, young pup, as do we all. ;)
And you never know when that time will come, Bilby.
In anticipation, forward thinking "youngish" me has went out and bought a trowel. :-)
Don't fall for it, Bilby - JW is secretly a much-grouted 110-year-old! Like me. (Though I came out of the airing-cupboard when I kept forgetting to pretend).
Oh, Dolores!
I think the young pup will remain forever young.
Pups which have the foresight to buy trowels will always have the edge on dewy skin.
It is a lesson for us all, Possum. (Sob!)
Sagely put, Bilby. OR, if the trowel's no longer up to the job, one could always Embrace Botox...
(she grinned rictusly)
:)
If I ever Embrace Botulism, Dolores, I would prefer to have enjoyed a delicious, if toxic meal before the event.
God - is that Really what it is? Quick - vacuum my head!
Well, it's watered down somewhat, so you don't need much suction. :)
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